Friday, April 10, 2020

Tears

I’m so tired. 
I’m tired of being home. I’m tired of not seeing my friends and family. I’m tired of not having anything to look forward to. I’m tired of seeing my kids ALL DAY EVERY DAY. I’m tired of being grubby all the time and not having any real reason to get ready. I’m tired of this feeling. I’m tired of feeling mostly sad all day without my friends. 
I’m such an extrovert. This quarantine mess has really got me down. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed. But this is for the birds. I need my girlfriends. I need my mama. I need my Mexican food!!!
I need reasons to go somewhere “essential.”  If I don’t start getting out of this house regularly there will be more tears. Today at lunch I was draining the goop off the top of my dip...you know, when it’s already been opened and there’s goop on top. I tipped my French onion dip over the sink to drain it and the whole dang tub of dip plopped into the sink. 
😭😭😭😭😭
I for real cried. I’m not even sorry about it. It’s not just that my dip fell in the sink, I salvaged what I could and ate it with lunch. It’s just everything,  you know. It’s so hard to keep the kids away from the neighbors. It’s so hard to be here for them to talk to NON STOP all day. It’s so hard to feed them sooooo many times a day, a week?! Gosh the food. 
It’s just hard. So I cried. It doesn’t seem like it’s gonna get better anytime soon either. So if you’re out there crying too, just know you’re not alone. 
Easter sure is different this year. But I know Sunday’s still coming...and Jesus is alive!!! 

Bubby is TEN!!!

This one's for the boy. 

Today my son, my first born, my Lincoln turns 10!!!
Yes, this post is a few days late. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Double digits! I'm getting misty-eyed just typing that!
He has fierce emotions...it's AWESOME or it's terrible, there's almost no in between. He adores Lala and tolerates Aspen. Though he won’t tell you they talk, sing, and laugh far into the night while sharing their bunk beds 
He loves pizza, spaghetti, sweet tea, Fanta, and Sprite, though he doesn't get those drinks very often. His favorite color is orange and he LOVES fast cars. Ask him about Mustangs, Bugatti, or Lamborghini...he can probably give you stats. 
He is amazing at all things kinesthetic. If it has wheels he can ride it, if it has a steering wheel he can drive it, and he probably has one! You should see our ride-on toys. 🤦‍♀️
He loves to snuggle, but probably wouldn't want me telling anyone. He's one of the best hug givers I know. He's very smart and loves one-on-one attention.
This boy made me a mom. He surely holds a special piece of my heart. Love you forever, like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be. <3

Sunday, March 29, 2020

Today we ran away


We ran away to the mountains today for a while. A bit to calm the stir-crazy we know is coming as we settle into Shelter in Place.


 Littlest said the water was COLD!!!





We were extremely careful, got near no one, touched nothing except nature, and enjoyed the beautiful sunshine and warm weather.

We’re seriously moving into protection mode for Anthony. He’s a front-line healthcare worker entering multiple homes on a daily basis. His transplant saved his life 6 years ago and we want to keep him around as long as possible.

Twice a day he takes medicines that suppress his immune system. He has NO way to fight if he gets this virus. He loves his job and will continue to work as long as it’s deemed safe. He doesn’t enter homes of symptomatic patients, wears PPE as needed, and cleans and sanitizes.

But here at home we’re tightening it up. No more visits, separating from neighborhood kids, and my kids haven’t seen the inside of a store in weeks. We’ll do everything we can to protect him and other vulnerable people. 


You do your part. 

Middle is EIGHT!!!


Today belongs to Aspen.

March 28, 2020

It's a different birthday than we've ever had. We usually celebrate with 90-100 friends and family for a big birthday bash. This year things changed. But we're trying not to let this crazy virus get her down.

To know Aspen is to love her. She loves BIG and tells you often. She's sugar, and spice, and everything nice. She is always happy, smiling, singing, or dancing. She NEVER stops moving, even when she sleeps. She is a peacemaker and would give anything she has to make others happy. 

She's crazy smart and loves to read, sometimes 2 chapter books a day! She rarely complains, never even tells us she's sick. 

She is our joy. She's so precious and happy. We truly needed an Aspen in our lives, and God delivered her just perfectly.




We’ve had a good day...in spite of stupid Coronavirus.

We started the day with presents, I had a helper making requested chocolate chip pancakes. 


We celebrated all morning by having small visits from grandparents. She got art lessons from one set, and horsey accessories from the other.



They have jumped on the trampoline allllll day and Daddy even painted her toenails mermaid colors for the occasion.



Her whole Sunday school/Children’s church group met this morning and they sang her Happy Birthday!




My girl, Carrie Setzer killed it for her mermaid cake!!!! 😍😍😍
She dropped her iPod in the fish pond 🤦🏻‍♀️

We had Taco Bell for lunch 😂😂 and went on a Bear Hunt this evening. Unfortunately we didn’t catch many sightings before she got sick in the van. 😭

She’s fine now, she almost always throws up when she has a headache, with little to no warning.
We’ll try again tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Coronavirus

Y'all, this is crazy. Our world has been turned upside down. Our lives have been disrupted, our routines have been interrupted, our homes have become our safe haven.
Today is Day 11 of the North Carolina quarantine. 
We've been asked to stay home if travel isn't necessary. Most non-essential jobs have closed their doors and sent workers home. My own mom filed for unemployment for the first time in her life as her job is closed for a minimum of 6 weeks. 
We're being asked to stay 6 feet away from people. We're not allowed to have gatherings larger than 50, just reduced from 100. Churches are CLOSED! We haven't been to church in 2 weeks now. We're streaming online with what feels like the rest of the free world. 
We're able to get groceries, when they're available, but all restaurants are closed to eat-in options. It's drive through, drive-up, and curb side service right now. 
The craziness over groceries is really ridiculous. There's no toilet paper to be found. Riddle me this...why does a respiratory disease need you to buy 100 rolls of toilet paper? I know....in case we're called to "Shelter in Place" and not leave our homes. I get it, it's scary. But please....only take your share!
As Cindy Monroe says, just take your share of the potatoes.
On March 13, 2020 all schools in NC were closed. Teacher friends, and teachers across the country, have been scrambling to find ways to provide learning opportunities for kids at home. Moms and Dads have now become defacto homeschool teachers. Millions of kids are now home every day instead of in a secure, safe place like school. Districts are handing out lunches like crazy, offering online learning, sharing ideas that have worked for others. The Education community has TRULY come together to show everyone how amazing teachers really are. You want digital learning? Done. You want packets for home learning? Done. You want to reach out to parents by any means necessary? Done. Seriously y'all. If the educational community can do this when all the Red Tape is gone, just think about how awesome education would truly be if the "suits" got out of the way and let teachers do their thing.
For us, as a homeschooling family, you may think this doesn't change much. But I assure you it does. Our normal day usually includes an outing of some kind. We have field trips too, places we enjoy visiting and we LOVE Chick-fil-A with friends something fierce. Our co-op days are our most favorite. That's when our homeschool friends meet for joint classes and fun. We learn, eat, play, and laugh together. It also gives Mom some time to talk to people other than her children. Phew!
So here on day 11 we're still doing our school time as usual. We've done math, spelling, science, history, Bible, and music. They've watched a few episodes of their favorite shows and visited with a neighbor. I'm currently typing while listening to them fuss about the fort they're trying to build in their rooms...the big kids that is. Littlest is trying my patience by NOT napping but instead is hopping and jumping around in there. *Sigh*
They're tired of each other. Shoot, they're tired of me. They're probably even tired of their own selves. Middle is really good at entertaining herself and is really enjoying creating DIY arts and crafts for her dolls. She's found a YouTube channel that shows people playing with dolls and all the small things they've made for them. She's trying to recreate some of that. She also really enjoys coloring, drawing, painting, and puzzles. She's pretty easy to entertain.
Oldest is hard. He comes up with ideas he wants to try or build or make. Often those things are dangerous, could potentially hurt others, or are really obnoxious. He's good with video games for a bit but we're not huge on those around here anyway. He does not love reading like the Middle. She could read for HOURS! So Oldest is the hardest to occupy.
Littlest is so much fun, and so easy. She just enjoys us being home and together. She can play with anything and have fun. She loves movies, loves to sing and dance. She's almost always wearing a costume, dress-up dress, fancy dress, princess dress, etc. She is such a joy to have around and we all adore her. God's plan is so perfect...he knew we needed her even when we were sure we didn't need another baby.
So we're home. We're occupied for the most part. Hubby is still working every day. Healthcare doesn't stop. Especially not in the middle of a health crisis. His patients still need to be seen and some need the visit to be checked on. We worry about him having NO immune system for himself. We worry about him being in contact with someone who's infected and is asymptomatic. It takes 14 days to sometimes even show a symptom. That's a LONG time! We just pray every day. We pray he doesn't bring it home to use. We pray he doesn't share with his parents who are older and compromised. We pray he doesn't get infected himself as his body has no way to fight back. 
We pray.
We pray every day for us, for our families, for our friends. We pray for you. We pray for everyone to be safe and protected. 
I know it's been a while since I've posted and I haven't been keeping up. But life happens, ya know. I want to try to write things down during this time. I'm sure someone will want to look back and remember how it all went down. And it's not like we're out running around busy or anything. HA!

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Yesterday was hard

God is so good. His plan is perfect. That's why He lets us completely forget what it's like to have a newborn. We're able to block out the sheer exhaustion, the crazy amount of diapers that need to be changed, and the hours and hours and HOURS spent nursing. 

This chair and I have become greatly reacquainted. 

Nursing has been really great and also very hard this time. Sweet Lorelei latched right on from the very first time in the hospital. The nurses in the baby nursery even commented on her barracuda suck reflex. It all started out great. Then the soreness kicked in. 😳 

We started out using the nipple shield to get us both into the hang of things. When the soreness started I decided to try without the shield. That helped for a few days but then got REALLY sore. So much so that I decided to take a day off and just pump. Anthony fed her bottles and let me have a break. She has taken bottles just fine from the start. That helped a bit and we started back on the shields again. It's much less painful that way overall. 

Aside from New Years Eve that was REALLY really hard, we've done really well together and she's been happy and really only cries when she's hungry. NYE was different and she screamed all. Day. Long. It was miserable. I was home alone without help for nearly 2 hours and she screamed the whole time. She was so full of gas and her little tummy was hurting. We made it through. 

Yesterday was also a very hard day. She was sooooo hungry! It was our first true day of cluster feeding. She had already nursed 7 times by noon!! (Typically she nurses 7-8 times a day!)  So yesterday she nursed nearly every hour. And she nursed for 20-30 minutes each time. So I would only have about 30 minutes between feedings to do anything. And most of that time she was still crying or fussy. Talk about exhausting!

Wednesdays are great days because the big kids go to Grammy's house for the day. It's my day to get things done and run errands. However, that obviously didn't happen. I tried to leave. I did. I packed up the diaper bag, put her in the car seat and actually pulled the van out of the basement....with her screaming the whole time. I decided it wasn't worth it. I unpacked us and went back in the house. No one wants to ride around with a screaming baby, much less try to push her around a store. 
Anthony came home early and let me go to town alone. Hallelujah!! It was really very nice to spend some time by myself without someone needing something from me. 

She continued to fuss like crazy and Anthony fed her 5 oz from a bottle over a span of 2 hours. I don't know how she could hold all that in her tummy at one time. Thankfully she slept all through church and the ride home. And it was Family Night so I didn't have to cook dinner!!

I know there will be hard days...and nights, But overall this peanut is so good, She sleeps most nights from around 9 or 10 till 3-4. She's usually awake after for about an hour then sleeps again until 7-8. She usually nurses every 3 hours or so depending on the day and what our activities are. She's definitely going ti have to be "go with the flow". She'll just be where we are, 

The weather is calling for a few inches of snow this weekend. Maybe we will celebrate her birth, Christmas, and her first snow all in her first month!

Thursday, December 22, 2016

In which Daddy goes back to work

I knew this day was coming. I've been a bit worried for a while. Having Anthony home for 2 weeks has been such a blessing!! 

He has done laundry, washed countless numbers of dishes, fed the big kids, changed tons of diapers, ran errands, been my gopher, and more. Most of all, he has loved me. He has hugged, snuggled, kissed, and told me how much he loves me. Nothing is more important than that. 

It certainly helped this momma feel better after coming home with baby #3. I may have been a bit stressed and overwhelmed by the thoughts of a newborn. Through it all we've worked as a team and gotten done what needed to be done. 

So today I managed to get all FOUR of us dressed, fed, ready, and out the door. We were even on time to Little Bit's doctor appointment. HUGE accomplishment!!!! So proud of myself. 

LK and I even ran by the grocery store to get my plan ahead dinner meal. We picked the big kids up from Grammy's and headed home to do school work. What an adventure that was!

Anthony has been doing most of the schooling since LK was born. So having all 3 to myself today and trying to get anything accomplished was quite interesting. We managed. It just took an extra little while. Phew. Thank goodness for Christmas Break! We all need one. 

All the children are fed and happy. That's really all that matters. Maybe the floor will get vacuumed tomorrow. Maybe. 

Perhaps the dishwasher will get unloaded tonight. Perhaps not. 

But we're all alive!

And we're all together. 💗