Friday, July 17, 2015

Kindergarten is coming

My heart starts beating fast. I feel a tightening of my chest, like something pressing on me. I have to stop and think about taking deep breaths.

No I'm not watching a scary movie...I'm thinking about sending Lincoln to school!

Just the mere thought of letting him leave me every day makes me have what feels like a mild panic attack. And it's not because I'm some crazy momma who can't let her kids go. (I don't think.) It's really, truly because I know the world. I know what will happen to him. I've already been there and I don't want my precious boy to go through it.

People will be mean, kids won't like him, teachers will fuss at him, girls will break his heart, people will make him mad. I just want to cradle his innocence in my hands and keep it forever. He's never heard curse words. He doesn't have a vocabulary of dirty words. He doesn't know that people are often mean on purpose. He doesn't know the story doesn't always end happily ever after.

He is so sweet, loving, forgiving, helpful, and precious. He goes out of his way to help me, he adores his little sister, He loves trucks and planes and cars and trains. He loves to read books and play with his cars. He loves music and loves to dance. He loves Disney movies. He's a little water bug and would swim every day if we could. He knows who Jesus is. He knows that He loves us, no matter what. He knows that he will always be forgiven, he only has to ask. He knows he is always protected from people who want to hurt him or be mean to him.

How do I let this precious bundle that God has entrusted to me go? How do I leave him in a building filled with other children and adults and walk away? How do I know they'll love him, take care of him, watch out for him, stick up for him? How do I spend my days without him? How do we rearrange our lives to revolve around school and sports?

Right now I can't even think about it without heart palpations and watery eyes. It is a deadline that is looming over my head like a monstrous black storm cloud. Summer's is coming. And our lives will be forever changed.

I're saying I should know how this works, I was a teacher. And I say to you, "Exactly!!" I know how mean kids are, I know teachers have bad days, I know things get overlooked, I know bullies get away with way too much, I know that 2nd graders talk about sex. I know some little people have seen more in their 7 years than I have in my 33. I know they'll teach him bad habits and bad words. I know he will come home mad at me some days for no reason at all.

What I don't know to manage my emotions. I pray every day that God will relieve this stress, worry, fretting, anxiety. I truly don't know how I can drop him off on that first day and leave him behind. It feels like my whole world is changing and nothing will ever be the same again. I don't want to lose who Lincoln is. I don't want him to lose his personality, beliefs, sweetness. I don't want him to not see me as his whole world, his most important person, his best friend. I don't want him to be pressured into the ways of the world. I don't want him to lose sight of what's most important.

So tell me do I hold it together on that BIG day? How do I walk him to class and take his picture without breaking down? How do I keep those tears away until I walk out the door? How do I let him know I'm more proud of him than anything in the whole wide world? How do I focus on this day being one of the biggest days of his life without crying like a baby? I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it. I type this while not just crying, but sobbing. Lincoln is a huge part of my world.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Can't Believe He's FIVE!!

How did this happen? How did he get so big? Where did the time go?

I've asked myself these questions all day long, and still no answer reveals itself. I have cried off and on all day thinking about the blessing that this little man is. I've reminisced through old photos looking for one from every day of his birthday for that collage. There were pictures of my sweet Moppy.

And of Anthony's sweet grandmother, Matilda.

Sweet, sweet ladies who are no longer here to celebrate this day with us. Oh how I wish he could have known them more. 
There are also pictures of all the precious people in our lives as they met our first born for the very first time.

 What amazing, supportive friends and family we have! We love you all are are incredibly thankful you all are a part of Lincoln's life.

He is beautiful, silly, intelligent, has a memory like an elephant, loves music, and is half of my heart. There is no love like a mother for her son. It's amazing how much our lives have changed because of this small person.

He loves riding his motorcycle and bicycle, he's been without training wheels since last summer, right after turning 4. He can count to 50 with minimal help. He still stumbles after 39 and 49. He can tie his shoes (though it's very loose) but it makes him frustrated most days. He can spell and write his first name and half of his last. He can remember any song after hearing it only a few times. A few of his favorites right now are the Kirk Franklin songs he listens to in Daddy's car, Still I Fly from Planes: Fire & Rescue, and we listen to a Now That's What I Call Music Disney edition CD, he knows all the words to every one of those songs! 

He loves his Legos and got several sets of Duplos for his birthday...including one of Knights and horses from us, construction sets from EE..and he plays with Aspen's Sophia Lego's too. :)

Most days he adores his little sister (though that sometimes comes out as aggravation). He just can't leave her alone. He's always touching her, trying to play with her by taking her things away, or trying to pick her up. 

His favorite places to eat are Kobe's (Japanese) and China View (Chinese) followed closely by any Mexican place. His favorite color is usually blue.
I think we're going to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate long as he's feeling better. It stinks being sickly on your birthday. He started running a fever yesterday after nap, about 101. I gave him Advil and waited it out but the fever hung around for a while. He woke up last night unhappy and shivering so we gave him more Advil and some cough meds. Bless his heart. He slept until nearly 8:40 this morning and had a temp of 101.3 when I first checked. Anthony ran for Tylenol this morning before work so I've been keeping him on a schedule alternating meds. 

He opened his presents this morning as soon as he awoke. We got him Lego Duplo knight set and a super awesome pair of motorcycle pants! He said "This is the best birthday ever!!"

We managed to get out to have lunch with Daddy at Dos Amigos. It was rough getting there, Lincoln sure didn't feel well and he fell apart on me before we left the house. Sigh.

Happy Happy Birthday sweet boy! I pray for you every night that God would lead you where you were supposed to go...and to become the man He has made you to be. We love you more than you will ever understand. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Today's fun

So far today we've had some pretty interesting experiences. We decided to go on a time share tour to get cheaper Disney tickets. We will never never never do that again!!! It wasn't what they told us on the phone. it was supposed to last much longer than they said, and Anthony had to raise a fuss to get us out of there. The manager they assigned to us for the tour told us that most of the people who came to view their property today would be there for about five hours and five different people were supposed to talk to them to try to get them to purchase.
Because Anthony told him pretty much upfront that we were not going to buy we were just there for the tickets we were assigned a manager instead of a sales person and he walked us through the typical spiel. And then he let us leave because we needed to pick up Anthony's parents from the airport. We did tour one of the rooms and it was super nice but if you pay $300 every month for 10 years you end up paying $30,000 for a one week stay in Orlando every year. And we saw people signing papers right and left. People are crazy.

The children are finally taking a nap and Anthony is on his way to the airport to pick up the grandparents. Then we're headed to downtown Disney for some shopping and some fun tonight.

We made it!

We literally stopped 9 times. 
The kids watched maybe 3-4 movies. 
They colored and used all the fun new stuff in their bags.
Aspen made it to the bathroom and didn't have any accidents all day!
We snacked, we ate, we watched movies.

We made it to our super nice condo around 6 o'clock. It has four bedrooms and 3 1/2 baths so everyone has their own space and even Grammy and Dadaw can be downstairs in their own bedroom.
The kids loved it as soon as we walked in. And they've already asked if there are pools. And Lincoln says he doesn't care how cold it is he wants to be cold in the water.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Boo traffic

Orlando traffic at 5pm is no joke. 
GPS says were only 12 miles from the house but who know how long it will take!!

Welcome to Florida!

We just crossed into Florida! 2:10 pm

Not bad for having stopped at least 8 times so far!!
Aspen had two false alarms early this morning but she's been excellent ever since!
They have watched nearly two movies and one short video. Thankfully we've got awesome friends and family who helped supply the kids with tons of activities for the van. Dry erase markers, coloring books, new toys, books, and babies. 
We've stopped for breakfast and lunch and now they are both blissfully asleep!! Say a prayer they rest for a while. 

We told them where we were going after eating breakfast. Their reactions were not at all what I anticipated. They were much less excited than I thought they would be. 
I'll try to post the video tonight. 

So far so good. 

And we're off!

Pulled the babies out of the bed and hit the road for Disney around 5:45 am!! We put Lincoln in the car and the first thing he saw was the GPS. "Are we going to a hotel?!" 
We made it as far as the fire department before Aspen said she needed to pee. Oooooooh the joys of potty training. 
Wish us luck!

Oh. And just like I predicted, neither child is interested in going back to sleep. Sigh

Friday, January 9, 2015

Oh Glorious Day!!

Do you know why I'm smiling!!???

That's right!!! The day has FINALLY come and I'm returning our LAST pack of diapers!!! Aspen is in big girl panties all day long! 
She's still in pulls ups at nap and night time, but I have a feeling nap will be totally fine soon. She wakes up dry most days. 
Way to go Sissy Bear!! It's taken nearly 2 weeks but it's gone really well. 
Now, if she would only poop in the potty!!