Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Oh doctor, my doctor.

Seriously...we just can't catch a break. If you read my last post you saw that we are already under an extraordinary amount of stress. WAY too much going on. Well over the past few days it hasn't gotten any better.

I feel like everyone at The Child Health Center should know us by name. I have literally spoken to the nurses or gone in for an appointment with one of the kids 4 times in the past 6 days. And yes, that's a $30 copay for each visit... Lincoln took his Tamiflu and managed his fever and by Sunday night he was back to his old self again. Hooray. He's playing and laughing, and having a good time again. Aspen on the other hand is under the weather again. She is over her UTI, hopefully, after 10 days of antibiotics...that she hates to take. But on the 11th day she spiked a fever of 102 again. So of course, you have to wonder if it's still the UTI or if it's something else. So I called the nurses and they didn't have an appointment for me yesterday but said to call back today if she wasn't doing any better. Well....she wasn't. She was sad and pittiful. She wouldn't play, just wanted to be held, cried if her feet touched the floor. Still had a fever of 101. So back to the phone I went..then back to the doctor again. Our appointment was for 4:40 and we didn't leave until 6:45!! Ugh. They pricked her finger to check her white blood cell count...so see if it showed infection or if it might just be viral. They put on another urine bag to get a sample to check the UTI again, but she wouldn't go. So they had to catheterize her again. SOOOOO sad! She now screams when you just put her on the scale. She hates the doctor, hates to be laid down now, and it will take like 3 days before she'll let me change her diaper at home without screaming at me. :(

Turns out it's probably not the UTI, it's probably viral. So just keep her on ibuprofen and keep her comfortable...if she gets worse I should come back. You know what stinks? We'll be there again on Monday anyway..for our well check! HA!!! Like we're well!! Also on Monday we'll be going back to Charlotte for an adjustment to her helmet. But BEFORE that...tomorrow she has an ultrasound of her kidneys to check their formation. Since she had the UTI she has to be looked at. It's standard procedure. We're still waiting on the call back from a pediatric urologist so we can get the VCUG done to check for reflux in her kidneys. None of this is fun.

I have to say that the Lord sure knows what He's doing. How in the WORLD would I manage all these appointments and things if I was working? No way she'd make it to these doctor visits, or every two weeks to Charlotte. I mean really.

Besides all the medical drama this weekend it really only got worse. Freezing rain/sleet/ice on Friday and into Saturday and guess what?! Our heat pump stops working!! Oh jeez....just one more thing. The breaker from the Duke Power line into the house had busted and wasn't sending power to the unit. SO after 14 emergency calls to specialty lighting stores that aren't open on Saturdays Anthony finally finds someone who will meet him at the store to see if they have what he needs. $128 later he has the part in hand and hooray.....but it's still not working. Only the auxillary heat will come on. Problem not solved. So it's cold....and no heat. Thankfully we have gas logs in the basement that heat the house to a nice toasty temperature quite easily. Goodness gracious. We made it through the weekend and the guys came to check it out Monday  morning. Turns out the thermostat was broken and not sending the right signals to the unit. Easy fix. No big purchase...labor cost and cost of thermostat: $130.

PLUS!! I know right....it couldn't get any worse. Our 55" projection television stopped working Sunday. Really? So no tv in the living room, and a fight with Lincoln every time he wants to watch Mickey. We went downstairs to play for a while, but that feels like I come up and down the steps like 15 times an hour looking for something, changing a diaper, finding a toy. So Anthony had to order a new bulb online: $200.

And really, just to add icing to the cake, my back started killing me. I had to go see Anthony at work to get it straightened out. What a disaster our lives have been this last few weeks. Something good has got to be coming our way...cause I can't take one.more.thing!!!

On a happier note Aspen turned 10 months old yesterday!! My how the time does fly. She's now walking all over the house...almost ready to run, she's getting so fast! She waves bye bye and makes lots of jibberish sounds. No idea what she's saying, but it's awfully cute! She loves food now, finally. She'll suck down a food pouch in under a minute and eat anything on your plate. She's nursing 3 times a day now, but not for very long each time. I don't think our breastfeeding will linger on like it did with Lincoln. She just doesn't seem terribly interested. I'll post her official stats after our well check on Monday, providing that she's actually well!

Thursday, January 24, 2013


I don't even know where to start. There are so many emotions running around right now. My brain is just swimming...

*Aspen has a UTI so she's on an antibiotic. She HATES medicine so it's very hard to get her to keep it in her mouth. The doctor just changed her meds so now she takes twice as much...blah.
*Because of Anthony's kidney issues Aspen now has to have an ultrasound of her kidneys to check out their formation...and one step past that...she also has to have what is called a VCUG where they use a catheter to push dye into her bladder then watch as it's voided through her kidneys and such. It's going to be terribly traumatic for all of us. She can't eat before she goes...and they're going to strap her down.
*Aspen has been wearing her band for a little over 11 weeks now. Originally they said 10-12 weeks, now it looks like more of 16 or so. But it changes every time we go....every two weeks we're driving to Charlotte. 
*Lincoln has been coughing since before Christmas. Nothing they can do about it, probably just a virus. But he's on a second z-pak for any possible infection since the cough has been around so long. Snot is running out his nose like water.
*Both kids have a fever of 101.3. Guessing they're sharing whatever virus one of them picked up. So on top of antibiotics it's also motrin for everyone. 
*Anthony has been sickly this week, just not feeling well...coughing and snotting. 
*Shawn is not a potential kidney donor anymore. He was tested Tuesday and they found he had a kidney stone so now he's not a candidate. 
*I can't go to breastfeeding support group because both kids have a fever, and I'm nice enough to keep my kids home when they're sick instead of sharing germs with everyone else.

I'm just so tired. I'm tired of my beautiful baby girl having her head covered up all the time by this stupid helmet. I want to have my  normal baby back. I want to put her headbands back on, I want people not to stare at me every time we walk out of the house. I don't want to hear people say "awww" when they look at her...I know it's out of pity because they don't know what to say. Just be quiet! I'm tired of this terrible thing called dialysis and the time it steals from us. Two hours a day are wasted by having to exchange fluids that Anthony's bum kidneys can't filter. So he can't pick up the kids, he can't help me in the kitchen, he can't even stand up for half that time. I'm SOOO tired of driving to Charlotte. My poor Saturn Vue just turned over 100K!! Now my poor baby has even more doctor's appointments and will be invaded even more. This new thing is going to be awful. All because there's a family history of kidney disease...so now she's going to be strapped down while dye is shoved inside her so the doctors can see if there's any reflux in the kidney. Plus we have to have a renal ultrasound done. Plus she has a "normal" baby well check coming up. Now both kids are on antibiotics, Lincoln's taking cough medicine, and both are taking something for fever. Who knows how much sleep we'll get tonight with both of them feeling sickly. I'm tired of being in doctor's offices, I'm tired of wiping snotty noses, I'm tired of forcing medicine into Aspen's mouth that she just wants to spit back at me. I'm tired of listening to Lincoln cough so much he wakes himself up. Now Anthony doesn't have a possible donor anymore. Poor Shawn was heartbroken, too. I mean, maybe the hospital will call someone else, but that hasn't been the case yet. Hopefully one of his other potential donors will also be tested and will match. I have to admit our families were already making plans...if Shawn was a match we were going to wait until the summer when Misty was off from school. We already thought it through. Sigh...

I know there are a lot of people out there who have it much worse off than I do. I am fully aware that there are terrible things happening around the world. But right now, this night...I have a right to be overwhelmed. I have a right to my emotions. I have the right to share my mind with the world, whether they want to listen or not. It just feels like so much all at one time. The saying goes that when it rains, it pours. And I have to say I'm drowning over here.