Disappointed

I must admit that I'm a little disappointed. I had my weekly doctor's appointment yesterday. Since the last two appointments showed some progress with thinning out. My dilation hadn't changed. At all. Dr. Faruque said that since it looked like there was no change again that she thought this delivery might go the way of Lincoln's. Meaning she thinks I might not dilate by myself this time, either. So she said I'd probably need pitocin again to get it going. Oh my. I really thought that all these contractions might also be doing something!   I guess not. See...disappointed.

But I kept thinking that with the full moon tonight, March 8...Mom's birthday, that something might happen. My kids at school have been CRAZY! But no baby. 

I'm just to the point where I'm ready. My patience is gone, making every day at work with 7-8 year olds extremely challenging. I seem to be in a pretty constant state of irritation, just from being uncomfortable and tired. I don't have any idea how big this baby is, but she sure gets heavy! My back is hurting and I'm seriously waddling. My feet are swelling...no, they're always swollen. From the minute I get out of bed, to the minute I lay back down. If I continue on this path, and Sweetness continues to not make an appearance, I may go ahead and have the doctor write me out. I'm tired, aggravated, and uncomfortable. Being home for a little while, even just a day or two, before she comes will only help! I got several days at home before Lincoln came to rest and finish "nesting." I think that was fabulous...so maybe that's what will happen again. Unless of course the full moon decides to kick in!! :)

Otherwise...Lincoln counted to 8 all by himself at dinner tonight! It was so cute! He usually stops at 5 but he kept going. I gave him a high five and he promptly started counting again! He's also able to identify a large majority of the letters of the alphabet. What's even cuter is that the LeapFrog Fridge Phonics that he has sings the ABC song. He just started singing with it and he now makes all the right sounds at the right time. His favorite is W X Y ZEEEEE! So sweet! We got most of it on video the other day. It's a lot of fun.

His favorite songs are The Wheels on the Bus, Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee, Zaccheus, She'll be Coming Round the Mountain, Pop goes the Weasel, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. He knows most of the words, or at least the sounds and when to make them. He also has very strong opinions as to when he wants to sing/play/listen to each one! We haven't been to the doctor any time lately, but he's weighing in at about 27 pounds and he's 2 feet 10 inches tall..according to the giraffe chart on the back of his door!

Anthony is having a great week. He rode his bike again today...it feels good to get back in his routines. The Christians are a fabulous couple and have been his riding partners for years. He's registered for his favorite ride this summer: Blood, Sweat & Gears in June. He's definitely enjoying the manual exchanges. We're not having to sleep with the machine, so we're both getting better sleep. Plus, with Baby Girl coming soon he'll be able to get up at night any time with the manual. He's "full" all night long, but not hooked up to anything so he's free to move around and do whatever he needs to. He's just supposed to get 4-5 exchanges a day. He fills before work, drains and fills at lunch, drains and fills when he gets home, drains and fills around dinner time, then drains one last time before filling for the night before bed. Then he starts all over again in the morning.  If he rides his bike, he just drains at lunch and doesn't fill up. That way he's good and empty and feels more like himself. 

Overall, we're making kidney failure and dialysis fit our schedule and our routines...instead of the other way around. We're probably not actually looking at a transplant for several years. Even if there is a friend/family member who is a match Anthony can choose when to have the transplant. He said there is no way he'd go through with a transplant...something that would render him helpless and very needy for a prolonged period of time...with such a small baby in the house. Not to mention that his immune system will be non-existant. If we've got the sniffles or anything he wouldn't be able to be here, or we'd have to move in with Mom and Dad until it's over. That can't be happy for anyone. So he's for sure not thinking transplant for a while. Not to mention he hasn't even been evaluated, tested, or filled out any paperwork. We're still looking at and dealing with hospitals and insurance. It's a huge blessing that his insurance company will pay 100% if we choose their two hospitals of excellence. But the fact that they're both at least 3 hours from home makes it seem almost unmanageable. How does he get to UNC-CH or Duke 3-4 times a WEEK for check ups and blood work and doctor's visits. He's trying to get them to accept a contract with Baptist Hospital since it's so much closer. That 1 hour drive is a lot more manageable. Not to mention, Jeromy and Anna live very close so there would always be somewhere to crash or someone to see. We still aren't sure what will come of that or how or when Medicare will be necessary or helpful. But all is well.